Apparently Natasha Richardson misunderstood last Monday at the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Costume Institute Gala, when she was asked what are you wearing, and responded by lifting her designer dress to show the entire red carpet this panties upskirt.

But even in the midst the wardrobe malfunction, how amazingly classy does the gorgeous Natasha Richardson look? Younger, skankier starlets could learn a lesson or two from Richardson; the point being no matter how long your dress, never go commando on the red carpet.

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Say what you want about John Mayer but he’s nothing if not self aware.

Actually what happened last night is a fan gave Mayer the t-shirt, and Mayer put it on, crossing out the word “douchebag”, replacing it with “badass”.

Still, Mayer has a long history with the word, last December going on a two page rant on his blog about the meaning of the word “douchebag”… which is the kind of self indulgent behavior that got people to start calling him douchebag in the first place.

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Lindsay Lohan just got hired for a six episode stint on Ugly Betty, but I’m fairly sure Lindsay Lohans breasts got her the job because Betty is all about fashion and unless leggings are making a grass roots comeback Hohan doesn’t know the first thing about fashion.

Anyway, here’s the scoop via EW:

“ABC announced today that Lindsay Lohan will guest-star on Ugly Betty for a six-episode arc, starting with the May 22 season finale and picking up next season. Lohan will play a ‘’mean girl'’ and former high school classmate of Betty’s (America Ferrara).”

Saint Lindsay playing a mean girl? She was the only one in Mean Girls who wasn’t a mean girl. Who would ever believe it.

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You’d think showing showing off your tits wouldn’t require a users manual to do but some how actress Amy Smart, most famous for… um, cue the sound of crickets, managed to screw it up, as seen here last week on the set of Crank 2.

However, given the weekend to think about it, and able to consult with her manager, agent, and publicist, Amy finally perfected the nipple slip; as seen from this brand new shot from Crank 2. Okay, well actually you can’t see it because I blacked it out, but that’s totally different than her wearing duck tape and you can see the uncensored version of the Amy Smart nipple slip picture here.

Anyway, back to this Crank 2 thing for a minute; has there ever been a sequel to a more obscure movie?

What’s next , Dunston Checks In 2?

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It used to be you actually had to do accomplish something to become famous but that’s before America became the fattest country in the civilized world (seriously), and just not weighing 300 pounds anymore qualifies you to be a fitness instructor.

Yep, Jennifer Marnell too used to be a fat ass but after joining Gold’s Gym 3 years ago, she burned off the lard and now finally has tits smaller than Jared from Subway… which is great, but this is taking it too far:

“In January, she was featured on the “Oprah Winfrey Show” and in People Magazine’s “Half Their Size” issue and will appear on the game show “Don’t Forget the Lyrics” with Wayne Brady. She’s also touring the country as a spokesperson for Gold’s Gym and has just inked a book deal to tell her weight-loss story.”

This reminds me about that Chris Rock joke about men who brag that they take care of their kids. I’m happy Jennifer has gotten to meet Oprah and gotten a career out of all of this, I really am. But why are we rewarding someone for finally figuring out how to take care of their body?

There are plenty of people who have managed to go their whole lives without weighing 300 pounds, are we supposed to give them gold medals too?

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While we await Jennifer Lopez’s inevitable breakup with the Latino Skeltor, it seem like a good time to revisit husbands past or in this case the answer to the Trivial Pursuit question; “Who Was Jennifer Lopez’s First Husband?”

His name is Ojani Noa and they met while he was a waiter in a Miami restaurant. They got married on February 22, 1997 and got divorced in January 1998 after she realized she was too famous for his ass, and he realized she was banging Puff Daddy behind his back.

That’s when things start to get really interesting. Rather than never talking to each other again, in April 2002 Lopez ended up hiring the Cuban born Ojani Noa to manage her restaurant Madre’s during the period where she was cheating on second husband Chris Judd with Ben Affleck… if you can keep track of all that.

The whole thing smelled like he was being bought off about something, and by October 2002 Noa was already relieved of his duties at Madre’s in October 2002.

Sure enough, the next time we heard from him, Noa was trying to publish a book about Lopez, asserting that while they were married Lopez cheated on him not only with Puff Daddy, but with current husband Marc Anthony.

However, Lopez was having none of it, suing Noa for violated a previously settlement (signed when he was hired at Madre’s, perhaps?), and the judge agreed, in August 2007 ordering the book confiscated and for him to pay Lopez $545,000 in damages.

Meaning, if we ever hear from Ojani Noa again it will because he’s doing more gay-ish photo shoots like this one to pay off his debt.

Lesson being: Do not F with J Lo!

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I never thought I’d see someone rock the see thru look to avoid getting noticed, but this appears an artful piece of misdirection on Lily Allen’s part, hoping we won’t notice that hideous blond turd festering on her head if she proves us with a little T&A.

Not a chance! No one on the internet has a life - there’s plenty of time to check out both your tits and dye job from hell haircut. Cut Lily a break though, the just turned 23-year-old singer recently had a miscarriage and broke up with boyfriend Ed Simons from the Chemical Brothers.

Now granted if fellow Mark Ronson collaborator Amy Winehouse lost her boyfriend and baby, the fetus would probably end up as an ashtray for her crack pipe but still… I’m just saying Lily Allen has problems too.

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You’d think Brazil would be the worst place for Playboy, as their much less is much more approach to clothing makes a day at the beach more risqué than anything you’d see in their airbrushed pages. But this ad, entitled “1975/2006. 31 years of Playboy in Brasil” proves that Brazil can pull off a more subtle approach… among other things they pull off.

And reiterating that anti-fur point, this pro PETA ad shows Brazil’s other great contribution to the Silicon Barbie culture - the thong.

That’s right, the country that’s responsible for the Hitler mustache is the same country responsible for your 15-year-old daughter dressing like her after school activity includes pulling dollar bills out of body parts you didn’t even know existed at her age (cough, cough, Miley Cyrus).

I don’t know why we have a prolonged presence in Iraq when it’s obvious the culture war threating our traditional American values is taking place in this Portuguese Saddam and Gomorrah. Forget Iraq, INVADE BRAZIL!
(If nothing else, the POWs would be hotter.)

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Benji Madden is soooooo in love with Paris Hilton, that he even wrote her a love song. Geez. Paris told People: “He surprised me with it. It’s called, ‘Shine Your Light.’ It’s this really beautiful love song about me. It was the sweetest thing that anyone has ever done for me.”

Shine Your Light? Sounds like he’s asking her for a lighter, so he could light up his farts. I guess this song’s lyrics go something like this: “Oh, Paris/ I been in da back o’you, I been in da front/ Even still, you know what I want/ Shine your light, bitch”.

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A pregnant teen should not have to carry all of this crap alone. Doesn’t Jamie Lynn Spears have slave-dwarfs or somehing?