Photo courtesy of People

Unless those gloves pull her coked-up butt to the ground first. Who wouldn’t wanna take a shot at boxing her? It could be the biggest charity event ever: ‘’Pay one buck and give Lindsay a shiner!'’

A friend just came back from NY and brought me the amazing 7th issue of ANIMAL magazine. The cover project was a close look at our favorite celebimals, and featured cool illustrations by 14 and words of wisdom by the one and only Michael K, author of Dlisted. This here is just a sneak peak. You should go get the rest yourself:

The Brangelino: the Brird (Subservious Hunkus) is seen picking bugs out of the Rhangelino’s (Homeus Wreckerus) ear.

The Britneyroo (Careerisoverum) carrying the Freeloading Federline Lizard (Paraciticus Wannabeus Africus Reptilia).

The Paris Ass Ostrich (Shamlessae Hussius) doing what it does best.

Photos courtesy of Pop Watch,

Looks like while everyone’s busy with Mel Gibson going crazy(er), Pam Anderson getting (re)married and Lindsey Lohan being her(lame)self, time keeps passing by for the rest of the world, and before we notice, all the kids around us grow up and start acting like adults. Well, more like Adam and Eve, before the whole apple thing, that is.

Take the lovely Dakota Fanning, for instance. The girl is an amazing actress, no doubt, and sweet as hell. And yes, its way better for her to stick around and keep acting, then end up like any other child-start we’ve seen along the history of Hollywood. But dearest Dakota, going naked at the age of 12 may be just a little too soon for you, don’t you think? Trust me; you’ll have plenty of time to do that later, when you actually have some breasts.

On the other hand, we have someone who’s a bit tired of all the “Vingardium Leviosa” around him, and decided it’s time to show us his real magic stick. Yes, ladies, looks like Harry Potter turned out from an 11-years-old sweet nerdy kid, into a young handsome nerdy guy. Anyone who watched the fourth Harry film, caught a small glimpse of Daniel Radcliffe’s upper body in the bath scene, and I don’t know about you, but my first thought was – ooh, this dude ain’t a little kid anymore! He may play the role of a 14 yo kid, but the truth is he has just recently turned 17, and to my opinion, he’s a pretty good looking fella! So bring it on, Harry! I mean, Daniel…

Besides, you have to agree with me here, after playing the same role for 4 times, with 3 more films in the upcoming years, getting out of a character is not an easy task. A role of a psychologically disturbed boy going naked can definitely turn out to be a good way to start. I mean, look at Aragorn. He only had three “Lord of the Rings” films, and it’s still hard for him to move on.

Photo courtesy of Bill & Kent 

 New Yorkers, if you catch a glimpse at your street cleaner and he looks kinda’ familiar, that’s because he’s Boy George. Apparently, the judge who gave George his sentence for falsely reporting a break-in at his Little Italy loft last fall, has a pretty good sense of humor. His community service will begin on August 14th, so prepare your garbage. NY Daily News reports:

The crooner - who asked “Do you really want to make me cry?” in his 1982 hit “Do You Really Want to Hurt Me” - will be issued a shovel, broom, plastic bags and gloves when he reports to the Sanitation Department’s District 3 headquarters for five days of street cleaning, department spokesman Vito Turso said.

Culture Club fans interested in a Boy George sighting might consider heading to Chinatown - one of the most likely assignments for the singer, whose real name is George O’Dowd.

“A lot of tourist traffic means a lot of street litter,” Turso said. “This is the epitome of community service. It’s not like he’s going to be working in an air-conditioned office.”

I’m guessing the object of this is to educate Boysie to stop littering! Or maybe they take a liking to Flickr moments over at the sanitation department. Well, I always said Boy George knows how to sweep people off their feet. Ha ha, get it? sweep them off their… yea, that’s a hot one.

It’s times like these I’m so happy we have ‘’South Park’’. We all know now Mel Gibson is one f*cking whacko, but remember who said it first:

Photos courtesy of IDLYITW

I’m so sorry for doing this. Really, I know I’m a heartless bitch who cares nothing about anyone, but this is the time to admit that even I had my boundaries and conscience, which includes some specific names in this town who were part of my exclusive “there’s no way in hell I would mock these saints” club.

Until now… This day would always be remembered as the day Scarlett Johansson was showed the way out with a heavy heart. It’s not my fault, no way. You should blame it all on her. When a perfect, flawless goddess like SJ is having a human moment in which we find out that even she has cellulite, I cannot ignore it. My sense of justice sends me out on a mission, and I’m doing it for all of you girls out there, to show you that nobody, absolutely NOBODY is perfect. Not even the amazingly beautiful Scarlet… Sorry, baby, time to give me back your membership card…

Photo courtesy of BBC

“I acted like a person completely out of control when I was arrested. I disgraced myself and my family with my behavior and for that I am truly sorry. I have battled with the disease of alcoholism for all of my adult life and profoundly regret my horrific relapse. [I am taking the] necessary steps to ensure my return to health. The arresting officer was just doing his job and I feel fortunate that I was apprehended before I caused injury to any other person. I acted like a person completely out of control when I was arrested and said things that I do not believe to be true and which are despicable.”

Yea, whatever. Asshole.

Photo courtesy of Image Shack

Gotta love this woman.

Photos courtesy of Dlisted

Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock’s wedding party had a ‘’ Mr & Mrs Dufus'’ theme to it. Pam, as usual, kept it real classy with that Bikini, a once in a life time cap and a glass of what might as well been some sparkling apple juice. The Kid followed his traditional straight-outta-the-trailer look.

 Doesn’t it look like the picture below was taken in Beirut? The background is all smudgy, people are fleeing and looking very stressed out, the happy couple discluded, of course.

Photo courtesy of Blog Spirit

Mel Gibson is a stupid anti-Semite and he would like the entire world to know about it. That’s why he got into a car dead drunk, was detained for drunk driving and than started spraying his wisdom to the cops who arrested him. Here are some highlights from TMZ:

‘’My life is f*cked!'’ (it sure is now…), ‘’You mother f*cker. I’m going to f*ck you!”, ‘’I own Malibu'’ (I thought the Jews owned it), “F*cking Jews… The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world.” Gibson then asked one of the officers: “Are you a Jew?”, “What do you think you’re looking at, sugar tits?”

What’s more interesting is that is seems like someone at Los Angeles County Sheriff’s department, that was responsible for Gibson’s arrest, thought this information should be erased from the report, and ordered the officer who prepared it to write a ‘’clean'’ version of the incident.

A spokesman for the Sheriff’s department told TMZ: “The investigation into the arrest of Mr. Gibson on suspicion of driving under the influence will be complete and will contain every factual piece of evidence. Nothing will be sanitized. There was absolutely no favoritism shown to this suspect or any other.”

I’m actually very happy this came to our knowledge, ’cause it means that racist slut would never get another job again. Accept maybe as the poster child for the Neo Hitlerjugend.