Photos courtesy of MTV & People

The grand winners of the Video of the year award, Panic! at the Disco, look mighty gloomy. Perhaps they know they don’t deserve the award.

Nick Lachey lost the best male award to English fag James Blunt. This was taken before he lost, so he seems pretty happy, but he did look bummed out later. He shouldn’t be so hard on himself. He should just beat the crap outta Blunt and f*ck his girlfriend.

Paris & Nicky Hilton bring a bad name to everything that is human.

If you ask me, Pharrell was the hottest guy at the ceremony. His performance with Ludacris was also a fine moment.

Christina Aguilera actually looked oh so good in that Versace dress. This girl knows how to do it when she wants to. I guess she just rarely wants to.

On the other hand, J Simpson looked like a plane crash. There is something fundamentally wrong with her face.

And for the grand finale, here are two peas in a pot. More to come on the VMA later:

This year’s VMA ceremony in NY had more losers than winners in it. Who would’ve thought Shakira would lose? And What about Christina Aguilera? The hipster at least won the choreography award. Panic! At The Disco? Whatever.

Above all, I cannot believe Pink actually won a moonman. She came up on stage trying to look like she’s disrespecting, when in fact she was really happy the security guard recognized her and let her in. Well, here’s the list. It’s not a happy one, but whatever:

Video of the year:
Christina Aguilera: “Ain’t No Other Man”
Madonna: “Hung Up”
Panic! at the Disco: “I Write Sins Not Tragedies”
Red Hot Chili Peppers: “Dani California”
Shakira with Wyclef Jean: “Hips Don’t Lie”
 

Best male video:
Busta Rhymes with Mary J. Blige, Rah Digga, Missy Elliott, Lloyd Banks, Papoose & DMX: “Touch It Remix”
James Blunt: “You’re Beautiful”
Kanye West with Jamie Foxx: “Gold Digger”
Nick Lachey: “What’s Left of Me”
T.I.: “What You Know”
 

Best female video:
Christina Aguilera: “Ain’t No Other Man”
Kelly Clarkson: “Because of You”
Madonna: “Hung Up”
Nelly Furtado with Timbaland: “Promiscuous”
Shakira with Wyclef Jean: “Hips Don’t Lie”
 

Best group video:
The All-American Rejects: “Move Along”
Fall Out Boy: “Dance, Dance”
Gnarls Barkley: “Crazy”
Panic! at the Disco: “I Write Sins Not Tragedies”
Red Hot Chili Peppers: “Dani California”
 

Best rap video: 

50 Cent: “Window Shopper”
Busta Rhymes with Mary J. Blige, Rah Digga, Missy Elliott, Lloyd Banks, Papoose & DMX: “Touch It” (remix)
Chamillionaire: “Ridin’”
T.I.: “What You Know”
Yung Joc with Nitty: “It’s Goin’ Down”
 

Best R&B video:
Beyoncé with Slim Thug: “Check on It”
Chris Brown: “Yo (Excuse Me Miss)”
Jamie Foxx with Ludacris: “Unpredictable”
Mariah Carey: “Shake It Off”
Mary J. Blige: “Be Without You”
 

Best hip-hop video:
Black Eyed Peas: “My Humps”
Common: “Testify”
Daddy Yankee: “Rompe” Kanye West with Jamie Foxx: “Gold Digger”
Three 6 Mafia with Young Buck, Eightball & MJG: “Stay Fly” 

Best dance video:
Madonna: “Hung Up”
Nelly Furtado with Timbaland: “Promiscuous”
Pussycat Dolls with Snoop Dogg: “Buttons”
Sean Paul: “Temperature”
Shakira with Wyclef Jean: “Hips Don’t Lie”
 

Best rock video:
30 Seconds to Mars: “The Kill”
AFI: “Miss Murder”
Green Day: “Wake Me Up When September Ends”
Panic! at the Disco: “I Write Sins Not Tragedies”
Red Hot Chili Peppers: “Dani California”
 

Best pop video:
Christina Aguilera: “Ain’t No Other Man”
Madonna: “Hung Up”
Nelly Furtado with Timbaland: “Promiscuous”
Pink: “Stupid Girls”
Shakira with Wyclef Jean: “Hips Don’t Lie”
 

Best new artist in a video:
Angels and Airwaves: “The Adventure”
Avenged Sevenfold: “Bat Country”
Chris Brown with Juelz Santana, “Run It!”
James Blunt: “You’re Beautiful”
Panic! at the Disco: “I Write Sins Not Tragedies”
Rihanna: “S.O.S.”
 

Viewer’s choice:
Chris Brown with Juelz Santana: “Run It!”
Fall Out Boy: “Dance, Dance”
Kelly Clarkson: “Because of You”
Rihanna: “S.O.S.”
Shakira with Wyclef Jean: “Hips Don’t Lie” 

Photo courtesy of Jeff Pidgeon

This bitch is delusional! The public is no sucker. We don’t believe such lies. Contact Music quote the skank saying:

“My mom told me that you get those holes in your face, craters… from giving blow jobs. “I totally believed her. She’s like, ‘It’s from sucking.’ I’m like, ‘Ewwww!’ “I told my boyfriend - he’s like, ‘Why don’t you ever do that?’ I’m like, ‘Because my mom told me you get these craters.’ And he’s like, ‘Paris, you’re 19. You’re allowed to do this.’ “I’ve only done that (fellatio) with maybe three people in my life.”

Yea, right. Next she’ll be claiming her ass is still a virgin.

Photo courtesy of People

Jessica Simpson was the luckiest out of 70 celebrities. She won herself a brand new Chrysler Crossfire SRT8, courtesy of MTV. J will be presenting in the VMA awards this evening, and I guess MTV figured the bitch didn’t have enough cash of her own, so instead of donating money to poor Tori Spelling, they bought Jessica new some wheels. World ain’t fair! BTW, she looks hotter than usual.

Photos courtesy of Egotastic

Yea, I’m sick of seeing her face everywhere, but what can I do? It’s the face of an angel. Scarlett Johnasson and her new movie, Black Dahlia, opened the Venice Film Festival yesterday. I belong with the clan who thinks Scarlett was hotter when she was underground, back in them Ghost World days, but I must admitt, she is absolutely flawless in these pictures.

Don’t they look cute as a button? It’s like they’re dancing the Swan Lake. I don’t know who is John Travolta’s new lover boy, but they seem very very happy together.  

Photo courtesy of Photobucket

“(I) got the call while we were rehearsing and I pissed in my pants! I was excited right off the bat”

Kevin Federline describes the phone call that announced he will do his acting debut on CSI, but rest assure, he reacts the same way when his mom calls him up to say she’s grilling chickn wings for him. 

Photo courtesy of People

Keira Knightley couldn’t have looked worse in her nightmares!!! Or mine, actually. She looks like Lindsay Lohan after she was kidnapped by Nepalese rebels and beaten with a donkey’s hip.

I don’t know what is this new look she is sporting, but she should dump it now.

Photos courtesy of The Woman Wonders, US Weekly, National Ledger, Celebrity Couples and USA Today

Now that Jessica Simpson has admitted out loud she is dating musician John Mayer, I can’t help but wonder: How come when a pretty couple breaks up, the guy always finds comfort in the arms of some voluptuous hottie, while the girl’s rebound is always some dumbass no one cares about.

I mean, Jessica was married to Nick Lachey, who is now romancing with Vanessa Minnillo. So basically she was downgraded from this:

To this:

And she’s not the only one. Jennifer Aniston is now stuck with Vince Vaughn, while her Brad Pitt is humping you know who. Britney Spears can only sigh when she sees pictures of Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz, and give another ten bucks to Kfag. And don’t forget Heather Locklear, who ended up with David Spade, while Richie Sambora can’t get Denise Richards off his guitar.

Being a chick sucks.

Above: love. Below: compromise.

Above: passion. Below: sun lotion

Photos courtesy of Backstage 7, VIP News and Softpedia

Yesterday everyone were all over Jon Voight’s case ‘cause he accidentally called his granddaughter, Zahara, Shakira. Voight was interviewed during the tea party of the British BAFTA ceremony (it’s like the Oscar, only worse jokes), and sent regards to his grandchildren, Maddox, Shiloh and Shakira. You can watch the lovely mess on TMZ.

Personally, I don’t blame him. These two look very much alike. Besides, he’s not allowed to meet Zahara cause mommy Angelina Jolie won’t let him near her kids, so how should he know what she looks like?