The November edition of Q will feature these photos of Britney Spears, as well as many others. I’ve really gotten used to that big beautiful belly of hers, I’m so sad she’s planning on losing it. Couldn’t Federline throw another SPF in there?
Photo courtesy of Zero Paid & Yahoo Movies
Sad but true, Eva Longoria broke up with Tony Parker after nearly two years of dating. Everyone around them keep saying it’s “amicable” but there are talks about betrayal (from Tony’s side, that is).
However it is, she seems a strong lady, she’ll probably pull through and remain hot.
Photos courtesy of Candy Bar & Hollywood.com
Ewwwww!! What a bunch of assholes. Stupid Carter claims now, like, 25 years after he and Paris Hilton broke up, that he slept with Ashtray Simpson just to get back at Paris, who was cheating on him. This is page 6:
“I’d fallen head over heels with this chick. Then, all of a sudden, three months go by and I got people telling me, ‘Nick, you know what Paris is doing to you,’ and I got a little upset,” Carter related. “So then I just decided to fight back a little bit and started doing my own thing again. The result is I hooked up with Ashlee Simpson. When Paris came back from Australia, they talked to each other and she found out about it.
“So I brought it up to her and said, ‘You know what I did, and now it’s your turn. Why don’t you tell me what you did.’ And she goes, ‘I never did anything! I never cheated on you.’ I had kind of started to really like Ashlee and I was thinking about the dating stage, then, before you know it [bleep]ing bitch-face comes back.”
He left out the part where he kicked her ass, but that’s no surprise. Jesus, wisdom is not a virtue the Carters were blessed with. His little bro’s one-day engagement being a fine example to that. God bless them.
Would you believe Ahslee would be such a ho as to f*ck him knowing he’s with Paris? God, what a stupid slut.
Photos courtesy of Splash News & Wikimedia
Matthew McConaughey needs professional help. If we won’t help him, who the f*ck will? Here he is sporting the WWII feminist look, and it looks sad.
* What’s hiding in Matthew’s trunks?
Photo courtesy of People
Ok, I don’t know what Lindsay is doing together with Harry Morton after he announced to the entire world he was taking a break from her wild ass, but here they are, looking like two law students madly in love. God, I thought he was hot at first, but he’s looking so boring lately. Shouldn’t have cut his hair like that. Asshole.
* What’s going between Lindsay, Paris Hilton and their exes?
And I’m talking the online edition of the magazine, not about the human race for a change. Here I am, reading their daily Star Track, as always, when I come across these three disgusting images:
Matthew McConaughey sexually abusing his poor dog with this bulge of his. Dude, no one cares about huge dicks when they’re attached to homeless people.
Pink sexually abusing an innocent stripper during her I’m Not Dead tour. Man, I so f*cking wish she was.
Abusing.
* Who let that hobo on the field? Oh, it’s just Mat McConaughey
* Pink’s new do is a medical condition
* Kfed’s album cover was photoshoped by SPF. The younger one
Listen to this joke: Martha Stewart wakes up one day, thinking to herself – “Wouldn’t it be great if I could have Eminem coming over to my show?” HA HA!!!!
Only problem is that it’s real. The annoying life-style granny claims she is playing his music during her show breaks all the time, to keep people lively… Right…. Stan is such a great example for a cheerful song, wouldn’t you say?
But wait, there’s even more to it. Martha is absolutely sure that the so-called-blond rapper would be surprised to find out how much her demographic audience is involved with his music. Honestly? Finding out that bored suburban housewives and gays find themselves rhyming all the Slim Shady lyrics while cleaning their wedding china and doing laundry would shock anyone.
It sounds to more like once Eminem shows up there (that is, IF he ever shows up), all your audience would think about is how fast can they call up their pure and precious kids and ask them to turn the TV off in order to protect them from the pernicious demon who represents all the evil in this world….
Is she confusing Slim with Michael Bolton maybe? Now wake up and go back to jail, Martha, you’ve been out long enough.
Photos courtesy of BBC, NRK, The Sun, The Bosh, China Daily, Earvolution and Xinhua
Last week we discussed Whitney Houston’s rebirth as a result of dumping crack and Bobby Brown. I’m happy to day to announce what seems like another resurrection: the one of Pete Doherty.
Yea, he’s out of rehab without escaping it. He’s looking a whole lot better and he’s back on stage. If he doesn’t mess his shit up again, the way he usually does, this might just become a new start for his whitie, cutie ass. So as a mean to wish him good luck, here’s a peak inside his guts:
Peter Doherty was born in Hexham, Britain, On March 12th, 1979. His father, Peter, is an officer in the British Army, and his mother, Jacqueline, is a nurse. Pete has two sisters, Amy Jo and Emily. As a result of his father occupation, the family traveled a lot and Pete grew up in various army stations, such as in Catterick, Belfast, Germany, Bedworth, Dorset and Larnaca.
He was an A+ student who excelled at everything. At the age of 16, he won a poetry competition and embarked on a tour to Russia, courtesy of the British Council. If only they had known what they were getting themselves into. No, just kidding, he was all sugarcoated back then.
Pete attended one year at the University of London, studying English literature, but did not pursue his academic career. Instead, he pursued something that would bring him much more fame and glory than any academy. In 1998 he started a band called The Libertines, along with his good friend Carl Barât. A few years later, with the release of their debut album in 2001, Up The Bracket, The Libertines hit critical and commercial success.
Doherty received much flatter, as many considered him an extraordinary songwriter, but alongside his growing group of fans, he was dealing with an on-growing nasty habit. Heroin and crack cocaine started to overshadow his life. He reached a terrible low when he was arrested in 2003 for breaking into Carl Barât’s flat, and stealing from it.
This naturally caused a huge tear between Pete and his band, and he was kicked out from it. He reconciled with Barât when he served time for the burglary (he was sentenced to 6 months but served 2). When he was released from jail, he was invited to return to The Libertines, but his drug issues effed it all up again. The Libertines eventually disbanded.
Pete kept himself busy with several musical projects until he had formed The Babyshambles, who released their first album, Down in Albion, in November 2005. The album’s title expresses an attraction of Doherty’s with Albion, an ancient name for Britain. It is repeating as a theme in many of Pete’s works, including his soon to be published diaries, Books of Albion.
The Babyshambles’ had a hard time due to Pete’s addictions, which seemed to only worsen with time. He tried rehab several times, but kept quitting the programs days after he entered them. Pete became a regular visitor in courthouses. He was arrested numerous times for drug possession, probably in each country he visited.
Not long after he formed The Babyshambles, Pete began receiving extra media attention for something else besides his drug abuse: He had conquered the heart of supermodel Kate Moss. Their stormy relationship provided the tabloids with plenty of occupation, with stories about fights, break-ups and Moss’ own cocaine problems. But it didn’t matter what he did and how bad he was acting, she stood by his side. The media’s favorite pun saying Kate was “addicted” to Pete. But that’s for losers.
Her devotion to him was especially surprising, since he gave her every reason to leave. His outrageous behavior includes fighting with who ever, spraying blood (or fake blood) on an MTV cast using a syringe, painting with his own blood and performing live while totally and completely wasted.
But as for now, things seem different for Doherty. His last rehab attempt in a North London clinic might’ve actually done some good. He checked out of there earlier this week, and immediately returned to the stage. Fans who came to see him perform said he looked very well. He even did a number with Moss, La Belle et La Bete, The Beauty and the Beast.
Pete, BTW, has a kid named Astile with singer Lisa Moorish, who’s probably a Brit-rock slut, since she also has a child with Liam Gallagher. Kate Moss has her own daughter, Lila Grace. If the rumors about their engagement are true, they’ll have a readymade family at hand.
I’d like to finish this piece with a small poem written by Doherty during one of his many imprisonments:
I see paint-cracked walls stained with shite
Long long lock-up days
Cold lonely nights
And I think to myself … what a wonderful world
I see men touching fists
Saying “watcha bruv”
Screams from below
Shit parcels from above
And I think to myself …
I see my true love
On a Rimmel advert
Rough stuff, huh?
* Rehab turned Pete into a fag
* Kate admitts: we’re getting married
* The Snort: xtreme close-up with Kate Moss
Photos courtesy of Skins, Fortune City, Chinfra, Any Old Actress, Cineguns & Absolute Now
Hilary Duff (19)
Gwyneth Paltrow (34)
Naomi Watts (38)
Mira Sorvino (39)
Brigitte Bardot (72)
And Janeane Garofalo (42)?!?
Photo courtesy of The Bosh
Harry Morton puts an end to all question marks when he confirmed to Extra that he and Lindsay are officially off:
“We’re just sort of taking a little breather right now and slowing things down. A lot of people started saying we’re engaged. It put a lot of pressure on things. We need a little space. The media getting involved always makes it more difficult. I’m a very private person. I’m sure she has dealt with it for years, (but it) puts a lot of pressure on me. [However] I have nothing but the utmost respect for her.”
Poor Linds! She’s probably devastated, cause the paparazzi and tabloids she hates so much are the ones who eventually destroyed her relationship with Harry. Well, it’s his tough luck. You know what they say: you play with firecrotch, you gonna get burned!