Yucky! The trash is simply oozing off this one.

X17 claim that Pam had actually gone and married Rick, the mega-douche who starred in Paris Hilton’s sex tape, One Night in Paris, and made sure he’d get big bucks for it.

The couple apparently tied the knot yesterday in Vegas after dating for a minute or two.

Other than banging Paris, Salomon was also married to certified wacko Shannen Doherty and to Elizabeth Daily, a 46-years-old bimblonde.

Way to go, Pam. You finally got yourself a real gem. There’s no one better to set an example for your kids. I bet this marriage will be long and fruitful.

Name: Nelly Kim Furtado

Date of Birth: December 2^nd, 1978

Place of Birth: Victoria, Canada

Songs Featuring Nelly Furtado: “Like a Bird”

The Canadian born beauty of Portuguese descent started her musical career at age four, performing alongside her Roman-Catholic mother (gasp!) at their local church (double gasp!). Nelly soon dropped the mother-daughter act and set out on a solo career, getting her big break in 2000 with the hit single “I’m Like a Bird”. Nelly describes the Grammy winning tune as “my freedom song”, to which I thankfully say: fly Nelly, fly away…

And to think that if she hadn’t signed with Dream Works Records, moved to LA and abandoned that stint with her maw, the Nelly Furtado biography would be nothin’ but Christian anthems in Freakin’ Portuguese!

Songs Featuring Nelly Furtado: “Childhood Dreams”

Nelly and boyfriend DJ Lil Jaz had a baby girl, Nevis, in 2003, to whom the new mommy dedicated the song “Childhood Dreams” on her 2003 sophomore album Folklore.

The couple then called it quits in 2005. The breakup lacked the Brit-KFed drama factor and the tabloids where barely able to scrape together enough dirt on the couple to guarantee Nelly a spot on their back cover.

In 2007 Nelly reportedly got engaged to Demo Castellon, a sound engineer, who she met when working on her third album.

Songs featuring Nelly Furtado: “Get Loose”

Furtado finally let out all that hip-hop-rock-funk-and-R&B she’d been soaking up all those years when collaborating with legendary producer Timbaland in Loose, which debuted in 2006.

“Women are Beautiful and Sexy”

One of the most surprising aspects of the Nelly Furtado Biography is that that the Portuguese beauty isn’t necessarily just bilingual. When asked by a reporter in 2006 if she had ever found women attractive, Nelly answered: “absolutely. Women are beautiful and sexy”. To be fly on that wall…

“Giving It To Him”

In 2007 Nelly “got loose” with Mr. Sexy Back himself, when the two were featured in Timbaland’s single “Give It To Me”. It wasn’t long before rumors started flying about a possible love connection. However any alleged tie between JT and Furtado remains a speculation. Since JT has been paired up with everyone from Brit to Janet, Cameron to Jessica, we really couldn’t rule out the possibility of a relationship between the two based on any one “type” the brother goes for.

So what’s the next chapter in the Nelly Furtado Biography? Don’t know yet but you can be sure Celeb Slap! will be “Saying it Right” when we do.

Photos thanks to Hubpages and Hollywood Tuna

A simple sandwich has never looked this sexy. I guess Jessica Alba has super powers that turn anything she touches into an aphrodisiac. So many guys out there would’ve loved to be the meat in her sandwich. Sick.

Britney Spears and Paris Hilton are both launching two new fragrances: Britney with her Believe and Paris with her Can Can. History has shown us that these two skanks are most likely to fail, so now the question is, which fragrance will smell worse?

Britney’s will probably smell like fried chicken, dog crap and a tad of ass crack. Hilton’s, on the other hand, will smell more like a saliva and yeast infection.

It’s up to you now. Which would prefer to use as a mosquito repellent?

I can’t really put my finger on it. Maybe it’s because she looks like a dude. That new blond hair vs dark eyebrows thing isn’t really helping either.

Rumer Willis is on the fast lane to become the new worthless young starlett, but to me it all seems unfair. Why does she get to be whorishly annoying while millions of other annoying girls are left alone with their dreams? Just because her parents are famous doesn’t make her any more adequate for the job.

Photos courtesy of Just Jared

At last, much awaited pics of Natalie Portman’s nude scene from Hotel Chevalier have leaked. If this movie is as good as Nat’s ass, we’re talking academy award winner. Overall, Natalie’s body is looking as hot as a Mexican taco joint, but the attention is mostly focused on her crack. Here it is:

Egotastic also has clips from the nude scene.

It’s.. uhm, alive?

Kelly Osbourne was walking the streets of London, looking like an alzheimered Jabba the Hut taking a shower. I know it’s a complex analogy, but stay with me here.

And before you judge, I’m not refering to Kelly’s weight. Not all large women look like Jabba.

Ain’t love quirky? According to Star Mag, Angelina Jolie’s nickname for Brad Pitt is Butters, after Butters Stotch from South Park. Butters is a downright genius and definitely one of the best characters on the show.

“George Clooney gave Brad that name,” a source told Star. “I’m not sure it’s flattering, because Butters is a dweeb. But he’s sweet, and maybe that’s why Angie likes it.” The source also said Brad likes to call Angelina Mo’: “No one has figured out what it means!”

If Brad Pitt is Butters, does that make George Clooney Big Gay Al? Anywhore, here’s Butters playing detective. The guy’s a hero.

(source)

What is Britney Spears doing alone with a photographer inside a Quizno’s bathroom? Why was she sweet-talking to him? They seemed to make some sort of an arrangement, but it’s all unclear.

BTW, correct me if I’m wrong, but this is the worst wig Brit used ever since she shaved that Kalabasa of hers.

Well, hello there, mein Ubersturmbannfuhrer. Having a good day, I trust?

The most disturbing thing about this pic is that this is actually a very good look. It wouldn’t look Nazi on most people. It’s not the hat, the jacket or the hand gesture. It’s Posh, with her freaky blood vessels and her extreme bone structure. I think she was invented by the Germans in the 1940’s, as part of the effort to break the British.