Tears are running down from my eyes as I’m writing this. Seems like Lindsay and Riley Giles have (sigh of grief) split. People report:

“They’re over – they’ve broken up,” a source says. “They split after Thanksgiving weekend.”

Adds another source: “She is concentrating on her life and her career.”

Is shopping on Robertson a career? I guess so. It’s a damn fine one too.

Hopefully this means I won’t have to see Riley Giles’ stupid face any longer.

Photo courtesy of X17

Sorry, Fanta, you’re doomed. Once Britney Spears picks up a product, it’s hopeless. And to think this is my favorite Fanta brand. I love that sugary taste and how the feeling of toxic waste is rotting my teeth.

I hope not too many folks will lose their factory jobs over this crisis.

Photo courtesy of X17

Ok, so a gew days ago I said Paris Hilton’s current hair style is the worst I’v seen in a while. Now comes Katie Holmes with THIS, and everything’s stepping into perspective.

THIS IS SO UGLY!

Katie Holmes is a pretty lady, why does she do these things to herself? Looks like Tom Cruise’s people asked her to fuglify herslef so he wouldn’t look so bad next to her.

I wish I could save her from this hell, but then again I wish she stayed there forever.

It’s totally uncool to get pregnant and not have some magazine publish pictures of you naked, obviously. Some celebs would never hear of nude photoshoots during regular times, but once they get a bun in the over, they can’t wait to take their clothes off. That’s crazy.

So the current naked mother-to-be is Christina Aguilera for Marie Claire magazine. She looks normal on the cover, but I really believe they brought in some pregnant look-alike for this one:

I know I should write something down here, but In Touch gave the such a good description and I don’t know what to add. Oh, right. The father is supposed to be J.R Rotem. When the magazine asked him if Britney really is pregnant, he reportedly answered: “It’s true”.

I feel this story is a little dry. Couldn’t they throw in some more sassy details? Like, they could make Britney bulimic and claim the baby is in danger of being barfed too soon. Or maybe claim that Rotem impregnated Britney during a threesome with a latin crack whore.

But still, I so wish it was the truth!

A wise man took photos of Adriana Lima’s lingerie fitting before the Victoria Secret Fashion Show the other week. Now those photos found their way to the internet thingie.

There’s a lot of shit in this world, but every now and then comes along some sexy babe like Adriana Lima, who makes all the bad things go away when she slips into a bra and panties.

Thank you, Adriana.

Photos via Hollywood Tuna

This came as a surprise even for Kevin Federline’s parents. Details magazine decided to use KFed on their cover of their Power + Influence Issue. That actually isn’t so baseless, since KFed is a big fan of the Power Puff Girls and he’s usually under the influence of something.

But what I can’t realize is how they named him no.7 on the ”50 Most Influential Men under 45″ list, together with Larry Birkhead, mentioning them both as “good fathers”. WTF? Anyone whose baby’s momma is a drunk train wreck is a good father nowadays? If those two are considered good fathers, even an ashtray can be a good father.

I bet Paris Hilton is certain that her hair is super hot and stylish. Could be just me, but I find this do to be one of the fugliest I’ve ever seen.

It looks like the person who did this had Parkinson’s, and after he finished cutting he pissed on her hair and ironed it. Then she went to sleep for 3 days, woke up and blow-dried it. Then three midgets got on top of each other and the one on top spat on her hair. Then she had sex with all three of them.

Photos via I’m Not Obsessed

Oh, you poor little Chinese girls. All you ever did wrong was to be too cute for this world to accept. Now, I’am afraid, there’s a reward on your tiny heads.

You see, the man you were forced to kiss in this photo op in Beijing is a very famous person named David Beckham. David has a very famous wife named Victoria Beckham. David is a naughty boy who likes to kiss other girls, and that makes Victoria very angry.

So now, sweet darlings, you’re going to have to deal with the wrath of Posh. If it weren’t for your gready parents…

Need I say more? Actually, I need. Cindy Crawford is rocking it at effin 41! Can you believe that? She looks so hot in that bikini. Seems more like a 21-year-old to me.

Cindy is on a vacation to Hawaii with husband Rande Gerber and their two kids, Presley (8) and Kaya (6). So she’s not only 41 years old, she’s a mother of two. You can probably find her picture in the dictionary under MILF.

Photos via Just Jared