They don’t call her Hohan for nothing.

Lindsay Lohan is visiting Capri, Italy. The formal reason for her trip is that she’s being honored by a local film festival. Sounds fishy, right? Well, that’s because Lindsay has a hidden motive. She’s there to skank around!

Lindsay was spotted kissing three different Italian men, night after night. Here are Alessandro Di Nunzio (waiter), Eduardo Costa (actor) and Dario Faiella (fellow actor), feeding off the Lohan plate.

This bitch must’ve packed an entire suitcase of rubber johnnies. Man, I really feel bad for the cleaning lady in Lindsay’s hotel. Those sheets should be burned in a sterile environment.

New year’s resolution for Lindsay: get tested!

via Egotastic

Nicole Kidman’s “The Golden Compass” has pulled in only $58 million.  She just turned 40.  How to get back in the spotlight?  Hmm….

HOW ABOUT A BABY!

Says the NY Daily News, Oscar-winner Nicole Kidman has a little Australian kangaroo in the oven, courtesy of her hubby Keith Urban.  According to someone close to Kidman, “She’s pregnant, it’s definite.” 

(Did she have to add the “it’s definite” part? asks Phat Nat.  Is there ever a doubt with pregnancy?  As far as I know, you’re either pregnant…or you’re not.  Well, if it’s not definite, what IS is that the baby’s daddy is not Tom Cruise.  If the baby comes out an alien, I may have to reconsider that statement. 

What’s also definite is that Keith Urban is both Australian and a country music star.  Since when did those roles go together?  Just because Eminem broke the white rapper barrier, that’s no excuse for an Aussie to start singing about achy breaky koalas.  That’s just wrong.)

Kidman’s spokeswoman was unavailable for comment.  About the pregnancy…not cute, furry bears.

Photos via NY Daily News and Monsters and Critics

Fergie, Fergie, Fergie-what will we do without you?  Seems that this Black Eyed rump-shaker is taking some time out of the limelight to relax and catch up with her loved ones (and I don’t mean will.i.am). 

It’s not easy being Fergalicious.  When not touring like a fiend, Fergs has spent her time getting engaged to actor Josh Duhamel, famous for…umm…for being linked to Fergie.

“In 2008, I just want to have a balance. I’ve been touring for about four-and-a-half years straight. So for me, I love when I get to go home now and see my dogs. 
It’s important for me to see more of my family, see more of my sister, my mom and dad.”

Did she really mention her dogs before her family?  While Big Girls Don’t Cry, dogs do I guess.

Photos via Daily Star

It’s no secret that Amy Winehouse is a shitting mess, and if she won’t pull her act together pretty soon, she won’t be around much longer.

Given that, web entreprenuers have decided to make things interesting. WhenWillAmyWinehouseDie.com is offering a free iPod Touch to the person who is able to predict Winehouse’s exact date of expiration.

I place my bets on September 14th 2008, because that’s Amy’s birthday. Jewish people believe that if you die on your birthday, that means you’re a saint. And Amy is most definitely that.

God, must we witness, in such graphic detail, Nicolette Sheridan’s and Micheal Bolton’s forplay? Can’t they just hump in private?

What? If I’m a gossip addict and a nosy bitch that means they have the right to harass me like that?

If this is what they’re doing in public, just imagine what goes on in their bedroom: the strap on is all bloody, a dead snake smells like fish… I don’t want go forward with this.

Photos courtesy of X17

Did you keep the rhyme scheme?  Good.

Hannah Montana’s Miley Cyrus is back.  Did you miss her?  Courtesy of TMZ, here she is outside a NYC hotel, sexy lingerie in tow.  So what exactly IS behind door #1, Miley Cyrus, babe-in-training?  And are you REALLY only 15?  Where’s an Olson Twins-style countdown to 18 when you need one?

So many questions…so little time.

Hey, Miley Cyrus-it may be time to de-friend one of your BFF’s on Facebook.  It seems that one of Miley’s friends leaked some photos from a recent slumber party.  Now people are losing their bowels over the possibility that the star of “Hannah Montana” likes to play for the other team.  Check it out for yourself:

Oh please…Miley Cyrus may be a lot of things (daughter of a one-hit mulleted wonder…3 years away from world-class hottiness…I think I’ll stop now…) but one silly high school leaked photo does not a lesbian (or a scandal) make.  If it did, Phat Nat would definitely not be running for office.

Photos via Crazy Days and Nights

Bad news to all you people out there who claim models only look good on magazines, after they’ve been air-brushed like hell. There are a few folks on this planet who actually look amazingly hot, no matter what. Gisele Bundchen is one of those people.

Some photog caught Gisele walking down the street with a friend. Just a normal person doing everyday shit, only she looks like a goddess. She’s not wearing make up, her hair is not done and there’s nothing too special about her clothes. So what’s the deal? She’s an uber-woman.

Yachs! Actually, no she’s not. I just really like the way she blends in with the sandwich photo in the back of her.

I think Paris went to this 7-Eleven to look for work, knowing her inheritence is going to charity. She should try the kwick-E-mart. I heard they hire “special” cause it’s tax deductible.

Cigarette companies should sue Britney Spears for damaging their sales. I mean, how bad is Britney if she’s even giving cancer sticks a bad name?

Parents, if you want to get your kids to quit smoking, just tell them Britney Spears loves it. They’ll be chewing gum like crazy.

Photo via Popsugar