I am an optimist at heart and I have faith in the human nature, so I choose to believe no one is buying any of those crappy products that Paris Hilton is trying to market.

Now that dumb ho is promoting her line of hair extensions - DreamCatchers. DiseaseCatchers sounds more like it. No one would buy that shit, because no one wants to look like Paris Hilton!

When I think of the damage caused to the environment due to this unnecessary production I really get furious. Don’t you get it? This slut is a hazard to the ecology!

Of all the butt cracks I’ve seen in my days, I don’t think I ever saw one as pale as Avril Lavigne’s. Good thing she’s spending some time in the sun. Compared to her, Corpse Bride looks like The Hoff.

Overlooking the fact that Avril is effing boring, I guess I can agree that she’s hot. I think she’s starting to realize that she’s boring too, cause lately there are quite a lot of pictures of hers in a bikini flying around. And you know what that means - attention seeker!

Pics via Egotastic

Britney Spears being rushed to the hospital late last night

 Britney….being Britney?

Yikes, this is starting to get scary.  Can Britney Spears‘ life turn into more of a train wreck?

Divorce, head shaving, driving with her baby in her lap, losing custody of her kids, the list goes on…

This just in: Britney Spears was taken to a hospital by ambulance last night to get help.  For what?  Who knows, but TMZ reports that she is considered a danger to herself and others.
It was only earlier this month that she entered a Los Angeles medical center after refusing to hand over her kids to ex-hubby and current wacko K-Fed.  Bipolar disorder?  Drug use?  Nobody knows but this is getting out of control.
Has anyone fallen so far so fast?  Even Whitney didn’t turn into this much of a wreck or a danger to herself and others (or if she did, she managed to stay out of the public eye more than Wreck-ney.)

Who’s worse, Amy Winehouse or Britney?  I’d say Britney just because Amy seems to have one problem only, major drug abuse.  Britney’s got all kinds of crap going on.  She needs some serious help.
Photos via Javno and Times Online

What’s that? There hasn’t been a Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana post in 48 hours? Well, let’s get to it, baby!

Recap: Miley Cyrus gets famous, she has suggestive photos leaked, she has a body double, she gets sick during a show, she’s caught out partying with no underwear (oh wait, that’s Britney.)

Where is Chris Crocker when we need him? LEAVE MILEY ALONE! Allright, let’s all take a deep breath, I have no problem with Miley, she hasn’t done a thing wrong, but she’s definitely on her way to stardom (especially if those pictures lead the way to something else. “Two words…two syllables…sounds like ’sex tape’? “)

I don’t know what kind of, ahem, movies she plans to make in her future but this weekend, her new concert film, “Hannah Montana & Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds” comes to a theater near you. What’s with the ripping off of the Van Hagar song title? Not sure I like that.

I’m sure 8 bajillion kids will love seeing her prance around stage, sing with her daddy, play guitar, and get to know her, all with 3-D effects. I’ll be passing, thank you. Not for me. I can’t handle all the screaming teenage girls. Seriously, what’s with teenage girls screaming? What is going through the minds of Jane Teenager when she screams? Is that really an involuntary reflex? Can’t be controlled? Unlearned?

Have fun, girls-enjoy Miley Montana…Hannah Cyrus…whatever her name is. I’ll be watching the Super Bowl.

Photo from LA Times

Everyone is talking about Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt being pregnant with twins, but there is no confirmation from the king and queen yet. US mag claims Brangelina are planning to sell the confirmation item, and give the money to charity:

Amid rumors that Angelina Jolie, 32, is expecting twins, a close source confirms to Us Weekly that the actress is indeed pregnant.

A radiant Jolie had tongues wagging at the Screen Actors Guild Awards January 27 in Los Angeles.

One SAG attendee tells Us in its latest issue, on newsstands now, “It was so obvious she was pregnant. You could clearly see the bump’s outline.”

The source reveals Jolie may sell the confirmation, with the money going to charity.

Uhm… that sounds like a nice thing to do, but why don’t they just give the money straight to charity? Sounds like a cheap publicity trick from the couple that allegedly dislikes publicity.

Britney Spears is a woman of extremes. If she decides to do something, she’ll devote her entire being to her cause. That’s why she’s the ultimate party girl, the no. 1 slut on the planet and a phenomenal wack job. No wonder she needs all those Red Bulls.

On other Britney related news, Brit’s mother, Lynne, is in town. She’s trying to “bond” with her daughter, which is like trying to befriend a rock. The two are constantly at each other, as one source told People: “Lynne and Britney were arguing in the car the whole time. They’re both upset and arguing, not having a good time at all”.

Not having a good time? You don’t say.

Photo courtesy of X17 & People

Amy Winehouse, in shock at her career going in the toilet

Amy Winehouse…would you like the good news or the bad news first?

Ok, the good news: The music magazine NME has nominated you for Solo Artist of the Year.

Still with me?

The bad news: The music magazine NME has nominated you Most Likely to Die a Horrible Death from a Drug Overdose in the Next Month………..ok, fine, for Villain of the Year. But aren’t you glad I softened the blow first? (Amy is now looking around for blow.)

Amy’s dad, Mr. Crackhouse responded with, “That’s stupid. There are more important things to be worrying about.”

What, like the price of heroin?
The other nominees for Villian of the Year include Tony Blair and George W Bush.

I hope things are going well in rehab. Didn’t they try to make you go but you said no, no, no?

Photos by Now Magazine

Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale. Seriously, she’s 38? Seriously???

Gwen Stefani: Will she have a hollaback girl or a hollaback boy?

This just in: Gwen Stefani is preggers with rock star husband Gavin Rossdale. Well, she’s pregnant with a fetus, smart-arses, but the father is former Bush rocker Gavin Rossdale. This will be their second child after having their first, son Kingston, in 2006 (not to be confused with Sean Kingston.)
Stefani, who is 13 weeks pregnant, is known for her work as the frontwoman of No Doubt and her solo work as well. Any chance she’ll hit the road again while raising her kid?  Perhaps we’ll hear something like:
Take this damn diaper from my eyes
Cause it stinks
And it’s no big surprise
I’m so sick of nursing
And I understand
My husband’s no help
Gosh, he’s such a maaaaaaaaaaan

‘Cause I’ve got a girl, a little baby
I can’t let her out of my sight
I’ve got a girl, all cranky and sleepy
I really wish she’d sleep at niiiiiiiiiiiight.

Oooooooooooooooooooooh, I’ve had it up to here.
Photos via AFP and Reuters

I don’t mean that in a dirty way. It’s really thoughtful of him. It’s just that the sight of Jessica Simpson on all fours like that directs my mind to a very certain movie set. 

I have to admit that ever since Jessica started dating Tony Romo she’s so much less annoying. She even looks better, I think. Maybe she did learn something from the misery she put John Mayer through.

I still hope she’ll never sing/talk/smile ever again.

pics via Egotastic

Is this what sobriety could do to a person? I’d rather be an alcoholic and die at 27 with an exploding liver. And don’t you tell me it’s a bad picture, cause I look at Lindsay Lohan pics for a living. I know how she looks - Old.

Lindsay is like the heroine of all those great Greek tragedies. She’s way deep in that hubris shit, and that’s why she’ll never learn and correct her dirty ways. Which is good for all you cynic bastards who like to watch people burn.