I love News of the World, I love Lindsay Lohan and I love the douches that she effs to restore her damaged self esteem.

The combo of those three elemnts created this briliiant story: Alessandro Di Nunzio is one of those 297 Italian studs who slept with Lindsay during her recent trip to Capri. Now he’s taking the chance to spill the beans with NOTD, and here it is:

…Less than six hours after they they met she suddenly STRIPPED off all her clothes and treated him to a night of naked red-hot lust.

He grinned: “Lindsay was very, very good and surprisingly experienced. She wanted to do everything, every position. She was extremely flexible and adventurous.”

“I think that’s the way things are with Lindsay. But she was very sweet and loving in bed. It was a good sex match.

“I was proud to accompany her—then she invited me to a couple of clubs with her two friends. Despite her recent troubles she was downing alcohol—vodka cranberry and vodka soda.

“She was wearing mismatched under-wear—a black bra with emerald green French knickers. But they came off too. Naked, she took my breath away. Lindsay is stunning. Her body is absolutely perfect. Flawless.

“To be honest I felt a bit intimidated. I was with Lindsay Lohan. But I took off my clothes and we started to make love. And then it was just like two ordinary people making love. It was very passionate and intense and lasted for 1hours, maybe more.”

Every guy she sleeps with talks about her perfect body, but how can it be perfect if her snatch is so used up? She’s probably doing vagina work out since she was 9 years old.