Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson marry (each other)
So apparently Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson got married in LA on Saturday and while normally I’d say something snarky, I’m a sucker for a pretty wedding and wish Pete and his husband a long and happy life together.
Wait a second… you say Ashlee Simpson is Jessica’s little sister? As in she has a vag? Christ, this is going to end well…
People Magazine is reporting that the wedding had an Alice in Wonderland theme, which kind of makes sense Pete Wentz would have to be pretty high to even consider marrying someone who can’t pee standing up.
The way I figure Wentz started dating Ashlee because she had a nose shaped like a cock, and once he washes off his eye liner enough to see she’s since had work done, he’s going to dump her ass for some other hot, young thing like Barbra Streisand.
(I’m just saying, the guy really likes cock-nose.)
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