They might have started World War One, World War Two, and tried to kill all of my grandparents -but damn if those Germans can’t take a picture. Here’s four members of the German Olympic team that just posed naked for the German Playboy.

The first girl up is Katharina Sholz who plays field hockey but isn’t a lesbian. She really is one in a million!

Katharina’s likes includes long walks on the beach, really tight Lederhosen, and harsh discipline. Katharina’s dislikes - those dirty, filthy Polaks.

Next up is Romy Tarangul, who likes Judo (not to be mistaken with liking Juden… what would they say in the Reichstag?).

Anywho Judo is Japanese for “gentle way”, a personality trait not traditionally associated with German women. This might be unrelated but Romy has already been eliminated from competition.

Also on the roster is Fräulein Nicole Reinhardt, and mein gott she’s a pretty shiksa!

Reinhardt’s a kayakist, and Germany actually has one of the best kayak manufacturers in the world, Prijon Kayaks. They use a high molecular weight polyethylene called Thermoplast to give the structure 25% more torsional stiffness… but your probably not paying attention to a word I’m saying, due to a different type of torsional stiffness.

Finally is Perta Nieman, who’s already competed twice in the Women’s Single Handed Dinghy, and failed to medal. Hell, even in this post she’s placed fourth. But she’s been working really hard with her psychologist, which I guess means she’ll at least understand why everyone feels shadenfreuden after she inevitably loses again.

Via